I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
