I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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