Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
