Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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