Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
