I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
