I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
