So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
