I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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