Duck Duck Cougar?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize