You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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