So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I had to cum in my sink.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
