we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
