she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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