I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
