i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
