saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
