So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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