I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
