weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Someone signed my nipple.
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