You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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