"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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