walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize