Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You can't special order awesome
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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