There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
