i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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