I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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