white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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