I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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