By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
