now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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