So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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