let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My liver is preforming stress tests.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
