make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
