We won't sleep together?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize