I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
sex in a hospital.. check
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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