party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize