And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
