I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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