Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
