Where did you get a picture of my penis
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
