The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well you can't waste a boner
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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