i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
