$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
