North Korea, Best Korea!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
