it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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