I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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