We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
