Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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