When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
