The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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