he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize