He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
