Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
