that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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