You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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