dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
