Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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