Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
