did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
