OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
