it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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