I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
